Building Trust and… a Different Bank!
There is a bank whose successful operation depends on attitudes, habits, and ways of thinking. According to Stephen Covey, this is the “Trust Bank.” In this bank, each of us maintains an Emotional Bank Account (EBA). Let’s explore what these metaphors mean and how they can help us in both our professional and personal lives.
Covey’s Inspiration
The idea of the Trust Bank first appeared in Covey’s widely translated, widely read, and highly acclaimed book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Through this book, Covey sought to share the insights he gained from carefully observing why some people succeed in life while others struggle, combining those observations with his own wisdom and unique perspective. One of the key concepts he explores is trust. To explain how trust is built, he developed a powerful metaphor that compares trust-building to the operation of a bank account. Let’s take a closer look.
The Emotional Bank Account (EBA)
What Is It?
Covey describes the Emotional Bank Account as “the amount of trust that has been built in a relationship.” He introduces a simple yet profound principle: each of us maintains a personal “emotional account” with every person we work with or have a relationship with.
“An emotional bank account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being. When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.”
Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
How Does It Work?
The account starts with a zero balance and evolves based on the deposits and withdrawals we make.
These transactions have nothing to do with money; they are based on actions that create emotions and shape relationships.
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Withdrawals |
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Regardless of the nature of the relationship -professional, personal, or social- each of us can contribute to the Emotional Bank Account we build with others. The key requirement is conscious action. We must recognize that all our actions affect our relationships and that careless behavior can become a withdrawal, potentially bankrupting this unique and valuable account. Covey further identifies six essential practices that serve as major deposits into the Emotional Bank Account.
The Six Practices That “Fill” the Emotional Bank Account
Understanding Others
This begins with carefully listening to what the other person is saying. It also involves demonstrating empathy and treating people with kindness and respect.
Keeping Commitments
To appreciate the value of this deposit, simply think about how you feel when someone keeps a promise made to you. How do you feel when an order is delivered on time? Or when someone commits to helping you and follows through? Keeping commitments strengthens trust and creates a positive track record.
Clarifying Expectations
This deposit is closely linked to effective communication. It involves expressing expectations openly and honestly, helping to reduce misunderstandings and increase trust.
Paying Attention to the Little Things
Small issues can quickly grow into major problems if they are neglected. Examples of small trust-building actions include a smile, an act of kindness, genuine support, or any selfless gesture. Their absence can act as withdrawals that weaken relationships and diminish trust.
Credibility
This deposit may be the very foundation upon which trust is built. When we know what we are talking about, act consistently, and take responsibility for our actions, our credibility grows – and so does the trust others place in us.
Offering a Sincere Apology After a Withdrawal
Since everyone makes mistakes, withdrawals are inevitable. Fortunately, they can be offset by making a deposit as simple as explaining why we acted as we did, sincerely apologizing for any negative impact, and agreeing on ways to prevent the issue from happening again.
A Bank, Yes, But…
The similarities between the Trust Bank and a traditional financial institution are obvious. However, there are also important differences, highlighted by FranklinCovey, the organization that continues Covey’s work:
- We do not make deposits so that we can later make withdrawals. Ideally, we want the balance to keep growing.
- There are no automatic deposits or standing orders. Maintaining the account requires effort, intention, and creativity.
- Deposits must be made personally; they cannot be delegated to someone else.
- Effective management of the Emotional Bank Account does not generate money. Instead, it generates trust, loyalty, commitment, and meaningful relationships.
- The account is highly sensitive to sincerity. False apologies and insincere acts of kindness quickly drain it.
A Final Thought
What can we take away from all of this? Everyone will likely focus on something different. However, two important ideas stand out. First, the Trust Bank reminds us that the human factor lies at the heart of everything meaningful and lasting, often more than material considerations. Second, the Emotional Bank Account shows us that genuine relationships are built when we focus on other people rather than ourselves. As Covey famously said:
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” 🙂